This is for family - and anyone else who has ever lost a loved one...
Memorial Day weekend - 2023. We just left Arden after a fun week on Blue Mountain Beach up in the panhandle of Florida. Now we're down on the West Coast at Punta Gorda, looking forward to seeing Judy's brother Warren. And our Sister-In-Law Bernie, who was married to Judy's other brother, Gary.
And though brother Gary is no longer here...memories of him still live on.
It's said, people leave a part of themselves behind when they engage with others...
And what's left behind might be as simple as a happy memory, or perhaps as impactful as a changed life...
It's some magical combination of the relationship we share, the depth of the shared conversation, and the personalities and unique interests of each involved.
And change. Abraham Lincoln is attributed with saying "change is a constant".
Our lives and relationships are in constant change, a continuous dynamic evolution.
None of us are the same individuals we were 20 years ago, nor even 20 days ago.
And those two thoughts bring us back to our Brother Gary...he changed alot over his lifetime, and he left a part of himself behind with us. His stories are a part of us and memories of him still live on in each of us.
There are many "Young Gary Growing Up" stories. It was a large family with six rough and tumble brothers, and the 7th, a most beautiful and perfect Princess, and there was always something memorable happening.
The "growing up with Gary" stories are from the far past and it was a much younger Gary then.
Those early stories are best left to be told by those who were there. They are their stories to tell...to reminisce upon...and to laugh about.
And it is the retelling of those old stories that keep the memory of Gary alive.
From speaking with Colin, Gary was a brother he looked up to, one he had much in common with and many shared interests.
To Warren he became a close friend and the best-est happy hour partner one could hope for. (How I wish I could have heard some of those discussions!)
To me, Gary was a Brother-In-Law. We first met over 50 years ago, he in his late 20's and I was 17, dating that Princess, my future wife, the best looking and smartest of the litter!
He was still young, still filled with the hopes and dreams of youth...and still yet trying to find his path in life, as we all were.
Just returning home as a hero - fresh from Vegas, he flashed silver dollars and had exciting stories to tell!
He was a paint and body guy, specializing in vinyl tops, a hot trend in the 70's, so with his skill in high demand, he was flush.
He mentioned also painting high dollar cars and "putting gold flake" in the paint...
To this poor 17 year old, since it was Vegas, I just knew it was the real stuff, Gold with a capital G. It just so happened, the last time we had dinner with Gary I finally had to ask! Laughing, he said it was just plain old gold flake...it only took 50 years to be confirmed!
I could tell of hitchhiking home from work at 18, and getting picked up by Gary and his running buddy. He then proceeded to burn rubber - fishtailing seemingly forever - while reaching Mach 10 in his '71 Ford Mach 1. All the while I was rolling around under the fast back - - - since he had removed the back seat!
I could tell of the 5 pound bass he caught, besting me on my "home lake", or going out for wings while helping them move from Navarre, all stories for another day.
And that brings us next to our Sister-In-Law Bernie...
To Bernie he was - inseparable.
One couldn't say "Gary" without saying "Bernie"...kind of like trying to say Bonnie without saying Clyde...
You just automatically have to say both names together as one..."GaryandBernie"...because they were always...so together...in everything!
I recently watched their wedding video again. September 30th, 1989 - the start of their 30 plus years of marriage.
The wedding and reception was beautiful, (a statement justified since Gary and I both had hair back then!)
But what I never caught until watching it most recently was a bit of the servant's heart in Gary.
During the reception Gary and Bernie went around and visited every table, personally greeting each person attending.
Then after dinner, Gary followed up once again, revisiting each table to serve desert to each of their guests...
A simple act which most may have missed, but it highlighted his thoughtfulness and caring...
And my thoughts shift forward...to the last several years, and Gary's impact on many in the family.
One life changing event of great enjoyment is how Gary and Bernie (once again, G&B!) introduced the family to the Outer Banks! It has become one of our favorite places in this beautiful world.
Our kids still speak of those times at the beach with awesome memories of family fun, laid back togetherness, the sun, sand and sea.
And even now, just finishing a fun week at the beach with Arden, Gary's influence has been passed to yet another generation that loves the beach!
And of course, it was Gary who introduced us all to joy of kite flying...
As much as Gary loved to fly his kites...even more...
He loved to get his kites into the hands of the kids...
So here's to you Brother...
You left a legacy...and a part of you still lives on in us...
And we all miss you...
Let the adventure continue...
